“See the world! Go to exotic locations! It’s an exciting adventure, like a vacation all the time! Or not,” Dr. Robin Moriarty, Managing Director of Kimberly-Clark, Hong Kong, tells PINK.
Though research shows an international assignment can skyrocket a career, “the truth is, international assignments are incredibly amazing and difficult, and they’re not for everyone,” she says.
Even with the family in tow, the situation “can stress a marriage, especially when the trailing spouse is the husband, not the wife,” Moriarty explains.
The past year in China has been stressful in more ways than I ever imagined possible. Culture shock is still real for us every day, and though we've learned enough Mandarin to get by, we encounter frustrating situations almost daily. Here's an example from about two weeks ago...
I was traveling to a local factory (by local, I mean about an hour and a half away) for work. The day before, my coworker asked if it was okay if she left a couple heavy binders at the office, and I could stop at the office on the way to her house to pick them up. I decided at the last minute to take the binders home with me by strapping them to the back of my bike so we wouldn't have to waste time swinging by the office in the am. However, my coworker had already left and instructed the driver to stop by the office.
The next morning I tried to tell the driver we no longer needed to stop to pick up the binders. He didn't speak a word of English, my Mandarin was too poor to communicate, and my cell phone - though it had full power - was mysteriously not working (this happens frequently enough that it's no longer a surprise to me). The driver was new, and having never driven to our office before, he drove to the wrong building, then parked on the side of the road so I could get out and run in.
I tried over and over to tell him I didn't need anything at the office and to continue on, but this only frustrated him. He called a friend to help, but the friend only spoke Mandarin as well.
After a couple of minutes sitting on the side of the road with a flustered driver, I decided the easiest thing for me to do would be to get out of the car, walk into the building (that was not where my office is located), and pretend to do something while there. I stood inside for about 2 minutes, then walked back to the car and got in, telling him it was OK to go on. He started the engine and away we went!
The language barrier for me is a huge frustration every day, and yet, I have no one to blame but myself. I live in China and should learn to speak the language here, but it's so challenging, it's going to take a lot more time and effort on my part to become fluent. I like spending any free time I have with Dean, so finding the time to study the language hasn't been a priority. I'm not even sure how to go about learning it - hire a tutor? Try to get a weekend class? Find something to attend on my lunch break?
Right now my main technique is to carry an Oxford Chinese-English dictionary with me everywhere I go, and when I have a minute, I open it to study words that I wish were in my vocabulary. I figure it's better than nothing, but even as I type this, I'm feeling ashamed that I've lived here for 12 months and still speak so little of the local language.
