Saying goodbye

Grandpa Adgate, my father's father, passed away this Wednesday morning of natural causes. It was really unexpected, but we know he was ready. I got a call from mom in Atlanta to tell us the news. I've never felt so isolated and far away from my family as I do at the moment. China is a very long way from home.

My first instinct was to jump on the next plane heading to any part of the USA and make my way west. I even booked a standby ticket and emailed the office to tell them I'd be out a few days. After a day of tough contemplation, I realized how hard it would be to really do this. Knowing how unreliable standby travel can be, I would probably end up stranded somewhere in the world and cause my dad to worry about me.

I'm learning firsthand how tough it is to grieve without others around. A funeral is, after all, really for those left behind.

So instead of journeying around the world to bid my farewell, I wrote a celebration memorial poem for my grandfather. He will be greatly missed.

Dear Grandpa, 

Ninety-one years is a long time to live,
As you would have anyone know.
Your grumpiness I always expected
Though I know it was really just a show. 

You were the one – a feisty man always
With a fierce bark waiting to emit.
But when we arrived for a visit or stay
Your smile I will never forget. 

As a grandchild I always looked up to you
Partly because you were so tall.
And yet Andy, Stacy, Will and I
Today are no longer small. 

As kids we played often outside in your yard
Climbing fruit trees or stacking wood blocks.
We explored the garage when you weren’t looking
And discovered the cans from your walks. 

It took us many years to figure it out...
You knew the Knott’s Berry Farm man
The Cowboy who knew all about us
From where we lived to why we were tan. 

You loved your coin collection so much
But when retrieving them we couldn’t peek.
I’ll remember the sparkle in your eye
When you told me “this one’s unique.” 

Your hiding places for coins in the house
Will probably give Grandma many fits.
She’ll be digging them up like buried treasure
Under the bed, in the dresser, and throughout the closets. 

I like that you loved chocolate
And always hit up a good sale
For candies AFTER the holidays
Even if it was a bit stale. 

I’m happy that you knew “Deano”
As you so fondly called your great-grandson.
He has your blue eyes I’m sure of it
Since blue in mine - I have none. 

My last memory of you two together
You played with him on the patio.
You pushed Jake’s ball with your cane for him,
And he giggled and laughed when you did so. 

I am sad that you’ve moved on now
And left all of us behind
But you’re with your mom, dad, sister
And Christians of all kind.

I really wish I could be there
To tell you my last goodbye
But I know I’ll see you again someday
Up in that paradise in the sky. 

Love you, Grandpa Adgate!!!